Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Hiatus much?

Hey everyone! I hope that everyone had a wonderful Christmas, Chanukah and/or Kwanzaa! I hope that you all enjoyed the holidays with friends and family, full of love and fun!

What can I say? There has been so much that has happened since my last post, I don't even know where to begin. But first things first, I want to apologize to everyone that has tried to contact me, either through this blog or by email, whom I have not responded too. I can assure you I had not realized that anyone had written to me since I stopped updating this blog.

College Life

Well, with that being said, I think it is time to begin catching up on some new details in my life. So far, I can say that my life has been good. I can't complain about anything. So let's begin with school. College this semester has been one of the most challenging in my entire time career. I began this semester believing that changing my major would finally make things easier. Boy, was I wrong.

Instead of being excited to study, I did everything in my ability to procrastinate from doing any work more so than any other semester. *sigh* I guess some old habits are hard to change. But there is good news! I have finally decided to switch my minor and major. Now I feel ready to face these last few semesters before graduation.

New Roommate?

With that settled, I have been contemplating my living arrangements for the next year. While I have honestly enjoyed living in the dorms, I think it is time for a change in scenery. So, starting this summer I will be living in my first apartment ever. I will not be living with my current roommate but rather my old roommate from last year. My old roommate and I have lived with each other for two years and we get along great.

However, he doesn't know that I am gay yet, and I am concerned whether or not that it may be an issue for him. I shouldn't imagine that it would, but we rarely talk about sexuality. Anyways, I plan on coming out to him soon, although I don't believe it is an obligation, I do believe it a courtesy for him to know everything about me since I plan on being more open about my sexuality next year.

Otherwise, I am happy to say that I have been far more sociable this last semester than ever before. I have been very introverted most of my life but this last semester has been a great change for me. I have gone out to more parties with friends, became more active on campus and the local community.

Coming out

The count thus far has reached 7 seven people. But I feel that it could be more due to some uncertain circumstances. So, of course, I have told my closest friends and roommate. My roommate told his boyfriend, who is very awesome about it. However, since I have came out to my roommate, all I have wanted to do is meet other gay people.

So, with this new found curiosity, I began going out and not allowing my inhibitions to control my actions as much. By that I just mean I have been more open to being honest about who I find attractive and talking to random guys (even though most guys I have ended up meeting are straight). It is still an on going process, but I do believe 2012 will be a very interesting year for me, but I will talk about that in another post.

Awkward Story

But I do have one story to share. On a random friday night, a few friends of mine decided to go to a Christmas party together. My roommate believed that there would be a lot of gay guys there, so I decided agreed to go. As we arrive at the party, I find a group of guys outside just having a smoke. (I don't know if it is just me, but I honestly find smoking unattractive) Anyways, I run into a friend of my roommate's who I know is gay and we get to talking. After a few hours, people start leaving and my roommate's friend needs help getting himself to bed. (He had drank one too many I believe)

So, after he apologized a hundred times, I gave him one last hug and he kissed me on the cheek. Now I have never been that intimate with another guy before, so the instant reaction I had was to kiss him back on his cheek. But that's when it got awkward. He and I just started to stare at each other for awhile until I helped him lay back in his bed. But the next thing I know, he is pulling me into the bed with him. Thankfully, I pulled myself up, tucked him in and left.

I think the guy is a great person but I don't want my first kiss to be some drunken mistake. I want to have something more to the kiss than just some drunken raging testosterone. But maybe I am just that hopeless of a romantic.

If you have managed to reach this far,  I want to apologize for the long post. I don't suspect that future post will be as long and I will try to write more frequently, since I am on break. Thanks for sticking with me this far and I hope that this blog can still be helpful to others out there!


  1. When I first came out, the only people I wanted were gay friends too. Didn't really work out for me since all my friends are still straight but I never tried venues like Pride Alliance or some other form of that. Interestingly enough, however, the random homosexual friends I made were in random classes, notably this one lesbian girl.

    Good luck in your search. And well, from my personal experience, I'm not saying the first kiss isn't special but it's just a kiss, and whether the first is special or not, you'll get over it. What is more important, I think, is a kiss with someone you love, and that can be the first one or the 100th one.

  2. Glad to see you're back. I hope 2012 will be a fun and interesting year for you too.

    Hope to hear more in the near future.

  3. So glad to see you are posting again. I wondered what happened to you.
    Also glad to hear that things seem to be going weil with you!

  4. Merry Christmas to you too bud! It feels nice to relax after a stressful semester. I wish you the best of luck in your new major, I too just changed my major so we're in the same boat.
    Dude that's so sick that you're becoming more comfortable with your sexuality. Seven people, congrats!!
    I agree, I think 2012 is going to be a great year for you...and a lot of other guys here in the blog. Especially now that you have a curiosity to meet other gay guys. That's something I'm struggling with.
    Keep up the good work!
    Keep up the good work

  5. @Hetero-Challenged: Thanks for the perspective. I never really considered it in that light before. Maybe I am making something more of this first kiss. Must be the nerves. lol

    @JP: Thanks man, I am glad to be back! I hope 2012 will be great for you too!

    @Queer Heaven: Sorry I have been away! But thanks for all of your kind words and support!

    @AGD: Thanks for the all the love man! I still love reading your stuff and I wish you the best of luck with your major.